


longing is so cruel

by smutsato



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: Angst, Dirty Thoughts, Hand Jobs, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Pining, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, a cry wank without the crying, ranmaru appears, ranmaru isn't there but reiji is thinking of him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-07 03:35:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19076674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smutsato/pseuds/smutsato
Summary: Thinking about him like this, it feels dirty. He's his best friend, his band mate. But it's not like he'll ever know, so it's okay, isn't it? Even if it isn't, the fact it's bad makes Reiji a little more excited than he cares to admit.





	1. longing is so cruel

**Author's Note:**

> this is set where qn lives altogether, unlike my other ones where reiji and ran have their own place. they aren't together yet.

Reiji sighs. He's been trying for hours to sleep, but he can't, and it's making him frustrated. He normally just isn't tired, but tonight he knows it's something else. It's him.

Ranmaru.

He's so sweet. So bitter. So deep. So _everything_. Reiji can't think of anything to describe him but perfect. Well, maybe not so much, but to him, he's perfect. He wants nothing more but to be with him, to call him his, to be his, for him to say he loves him too. He's never been so enthralled by someone, not since... it isn't smart to think about that now.

He thinks how warm it'd be to cuddle with him. To fall asleep in his arms. Reiji feels so dumb thinking of it, like some lovestruck teenage girl. Like a fan. But he can't help himself. Whenever it can, his mind wanders to Ranmaru, and he can't quit thinking of him.

Reiji balls the covers up and hugs them to his chest. It'd be nice to have someone to hold. Maybe if he weren't so lonely, he'd be able to sleep.

He tosses and turns, until finally he gives up. Maybe if he just does something, he'll feel tired. He feels so restless, it's awful. He sighs, before sliding a hand under the covers to palm himself. He closes his eyes, trying to think of something. His mind goes to Ranmaru, of course. How strong he is. How tall he is. How buff he is. How deep his voice is... Reiji's face gets hot, thinking about how he must sound saying _not so clean_ things.

Thinking about him like this, it feels dirty. He's his best friend, his band mate. But it's not like he'll ever know, so it's okay, isn't it? Even if it isn't, the fact it's bad makes Reiji a little more excited than he cares to admit.

He strokes himself through his joggers, sighing. He has to keep quiet, especially since he hasn't locked the door. Worst case scenario, Ranmaru hears him and he's disgusted. Best case scenario? Well, he isn't disgusted. Reiji nearly laughs at himself. That's what happens in porn. Not real life. Unfortunately.

For the sake of getting off, though, he lets his mind run wild with it. God, what Reiji would give for Ranmaru to walk through that door and join him. It feels so perverted, but he's stopped caring. He wants Ranmaru, wants him to tell him dirty things while he touches him.

Reiji bites his lip, gripping himself through his pants. His mind is filled with what Ranmaru would sound like, telling him he's hot, how he wants him too. That he loves him. That he'll make him come. He breathes, hand slipping into his joggers. He tries to imagine it's really Ranmaru's, and it works, because he can feel precum leaking from his tip already.

This is bad. Reiji can't shake the thought, but he can't stop now. He'd be more upset if he did. All he can do is try to drown it out with thoughts of _him_.

Pushing his pants down his hips, he debates pushing the covers away too. It'd be less convenient if anyone barged in, but it was 2 in the morning, so why would they? Regardless of the doubt, he keeps them up. Besides, he can fool himself into think it's really Ranmaru's jeans, grinding against him. _Ah shit, the way his ass looks in skinny jeans._

He moans quietly, covering his mouth. Oh, he would love that. To feel Ranmaru against him, just as bothered as he is. Needy enough to grind. He likes to think Ranmaru's just as bad as himself, even though he knows it can't be true.

Ranmaru thinking about Reiji the same why he thinks about him, though, it's just erotic. Reiji strokes faster, turning his head. Now he can't get that out of his head, the image of Ranmaru masturbating to him. His cock twitches at the thought. Ranmaru panting, that deep, sexy voice moaning his name... he wants to moan his, but he knows he can't. That he shouldn't.

His hand drifts from his mouth to a nipple when he finally trusts himself, rolling it between his thumb and finger. It'd feel so good if it were Ranmaru's hands. Thinking of his calloused fingers running over his smooth skin, his cock twitches again. Fuck.

He grips himself firmly, hand slick with precum. He'd love to fuck Ranmaru's pretty little face. To see his cum on him. Maybe, just maybe, if they ever get together, he thinks he'll ask him if they could do that. He licks his fingertips, going back to his nipples. Ranmaru's mouth would feel good other places, too. Kissing his neck, his stomach, his chest. Maybe even his thighs. Leaving hickies. Reiji has to stop playing with his nipples to cover his mouth again.

And what about his dick? How good it'd feel in _Reiji's_ mouth, fucking _his_  face. How his desire for the bassist to make his hips so sore he has to limp is so strong. He shoves his fist in his mouth. He can't take this. He wants to do everything with him, wants every part of him. It's so pathetic. Reiji feels pathetic.

He has nothing to loose if he's so pathetic though. So when he feels the familiar tightness in his stomach, he thinks of Ranmaru's ass. Nice and firm, and so cute. He bites his hand, cum spurting out of his cock and onto the covers. All he can think of is coming on his ass, seeing it lay on his pale skin. Reiji's breathing is heavy. He feels tired now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> really wanted to write this for some reason ? also really wanted to use that lyric as a title, so it works out since this turned out more desperate than planned
> 
> reiji thinking of ran and wanting him so badly felt like a cute idea (cute? hot? idk), but i am totally down to write ranmaru catching him if y'all would want that too. maybe that's a chapter two idea?
> 
> i didn't wanna post so close together, but i already have it written so yeehaw. edit: this didnt appear in the fandom tag i??


	2. longing hides

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today they had lunch together and hung out for a few hours. Ranmaru's eyes lit up when Reiji asked about his favorite bands. He knows them all, but he just gets so excited when he talks about them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall wanted it yall got it

Here he is, again. Reiji can't sleep, again. Today they had lunch together and hung out for a few hours. Ranmaru's eyes lit up when Reiji asked about his favorite bands. He knows them all, but he just gets so excited when he talks about them. It's so sweet. Ranmaru is sweet.

Reiji's stopped caring so much how he sounds, because he knows he's... well, it's scary to admit it. He sighs, hugging his pillow closer to his chest. It'd just be nice if Ranmaru talked about him like that. That's all. Right?

He smiles a little. Maybe Ranmaru does. Maybe Ranmaru's heart speeds up just like Reiji's does. He might feel it too. Reiji decides he won't let himself throw so many pity parties about him anymore. Thinking about him makes Reiji happy. He smiles a little more. Maybe he makes Ranmaru happy too.

A sigh falls out, as he turns on his stomach. He knows what he's going to do. This time, though, Reiji's a little less tense about it. He doesn't regret it so much when his hand slips into his pants, when the pillow muffles his groan.

In this position, his thoughts get a little dirtier a little quicker. Ranmaru pressed against his ass, that would really be something else. He feels lonely, but he won't think about that. Only Ranmaru. His RanRan.

He wishes he was _really_ his.

Reiji teases his tip, another sigh slipping out. He pulls his hand to lick his fingers, before shoving it back in and getting to work. Ranmaru's hands would feel nicer, but his own will have to do. Maybe Ranmaru thinks the same about his. Reiji blushes. He's thought so much about him, but he's never quite imagined jerking him off.

He bites his lip. Ranmaru probably sounds cute when he's needy. Reiji almost moans, just thinking about him begging to come. He rocks his hips gently, trying not to make the bed creak. It's old, and it's loud as hell. Reiji really doesn't need the squeaking giving him away. He'd die of embarrassment.

He focuses on Ranmaru. If he were behind him, hands on his hips. Grinding. Reiji has to moan, but it's lost in his pillows anyways. His hand moves faster as precum dribbles out. He shifts around to move his sweatpants down his hips, just enough to pull himself out. Ranmaru's probably big. His lip hurts from how hard he's biting down. He wants Ranmaru inside him, very badly.

Testing the bed, his hips thrust quicker. It's mostly quiet. Good enough.

It's not very long before he lets a ' _Ranmaru_ ' slip, and he freezes. Shit. Nothing happens for the longest time, so he keeps going, groaning into the pillows. He's trying hard to keep quiet, but the further he goes the less he can help it. The more his imagination runs wild, the better it feels. Another, low moan of ' _Ranmaru_ ' fades into the quiet.

"Reiji?" Oh. That's not his imagination.

Reiji fumbles to pull his pants up, turning over. At least the covers hadn't fallen off. He isn't sure whether he should've faced him or not, but he might as well commit now.

"Y-Yeah, RanRan?"

"You said my name. You need something?" Ranmaru's voice is groggy. Was he really loud enough to wake him up? Shit.

"You're hearing things," Reiji laughs, but it's audibly nervous and Ranmaru notices.

"And you're acting weird."

"I am?"

"Yeah. What's up?"

 _Ugh, stop caring for five more minutes._ "Nothing."

"Liar," Ranmaru sits down on the side of the bed next to him. Reiji bites back a sigh. Dammit.

"I'm fine, RanRan, just... just go back to sleep," he reassures.

"Up 'cause I can't sleep, but nice try."

The way he looks at him, so soft and sleepy. His hair is down, all messy, and he looks so cute. Reiji can hear his own heart beating. "Really, I'm-"

"Nope."

"RanR-"

"Uh uh."

"Christ."

"Yeezus."

Reiji snorts. "I hate you."

"Heartwarming."

They smile at each other, and Reiji looks away. Maybe he'll get away with it if he just... tries to get off now. Ranmaru probably won't leave either way. He grips himself through his pants, thumb running along his length.

Ranmaru notices his hand moving under the covers, face going red. "Reiji?"

"I'm not the one who won't leave," Reiji snarks, and they both go silent. He feels bad, suddenly.

Just as quick as he can regret it, though, Ranmaru's hand is over his own. It's his turn to be flustered.

"You're the one moaning my name."

Reiji's speechless. He is, but that doesn't mean he has to point it out like that. He isn't sure what to do, until Ranmaru asks him what he really wants to hear.

"You want some help?" he's grinning. He enjoys this. Reiji swallows.

"I wouldn't hate it."

Ranmaru nods, waiting for Reiji to throw the covers off. He scoots up against the headboard, lifting his hips for Ranmaru to tug his pants down. He must be dreaming. This isn't real.

The feeling of his hand stroking him is very real, though. Reiji's hands fist in the sheets. He can't bring himself to look at the other until fingers tilt his chin up, and Ranmaru kisses him. It's soft, and slow, and he can't help moaning into it when Ranmaru flicks his wrist. He smiles against his lips. Cute.

When they break apart, he watches Reiji's eyes squeezing shut. He's trying so hard to stay quiet. It's so sweet that he thinks Ranmaru will stand for that. The bassist leans in again, kissing him. It's hungrier, and Reiji's arms find their way around his shoulders, holding onto him. His hips follow his hand, and he groans. He's close.

Ranmaru's hands do feel better. They're rougher, calloused from hours upon hours of guitar. Bigger, too. But more importantly than all of that, it's Ranmaru touching him like this, and that alone is erotic. His other hand starts to knead Reiji's balls, and it makes him yelp. Ranmaru chuckles.

"You like that?" His voice is low, rough. It's sexy. Reiji nods.

"I'm really, _haaa_ , I'm close," he doesn't fully trust himself to talk anymore.

"Gonna come?" The way he says it, Reiji lets out a pathetic moan and frantic nod. Ranmaru grins. _So_ cute.

Reiji's thighs tense up, and he holds onto Ranmaru tightly. He doesn't mind, he likes it really — his panting on his cheek, no little noise unheard. Ranmaru's getting hard too, if he's honest.

It's not even seconds later that Reiji feels his stomach tighten, hips snapping up as he comes. It's so intense, and his fingers dig into the other's back. Ranmaru kisses Reiji to muffle the noises, but it's hard for him to keep up when he's so short of breath. He falls back against the headboard, breathing heavily as he comes back down.

"That was.. pretty hot," Ranmaru admits, and Reiji's face flushes.

"Ranmaru... uh, thank you..." he isn't sure how to say it. It'd be stupid to tell him he loves him now.

Ranmaru shakes his head. "No need. I like you, dipshit."

Reiji isn't sure what his face does, but he's sure it's amusing to watch. "Really?"

"Would I help you get off if I weren't into you?" he asks, and Reiji looks away, embarrassed. That's true.

"I like you too."

"That was kinda obvious," Ranmaru teases. " _Oh, RanRan._ "

"Shut up!" Reiji whines, smacking the back of his head. Ranmaru laughs, a genuine laugh, leaning in for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a wise redditor once spoke words akin to "if youre caught masturbating, just keep going. direct eye contact. cum on them. assert your dominance."
> 
> this is so ooc but anyways f to reiji first his sheets now his shirt. man cant get a damn break from laundry.


End file.
